Overcomi­ng Fear and Phobias: A Comprehe­nsive Guide

Body and Mind

FEAR AND PHOBIAS

Face Up To Your Fears

·      Everybody’s afraid of sth. We have to face our fears.

·      Fears can cripple us in many ways, esp if they’re an excuse to protect ourselves agains taking risks. (If you don’t take risks, you don’t have much fear . and nothing else, either).

·      Dealing w/fear means dealing w/anxiety (=a feeling of dread, a nameless fear that distracts the hearts and minds of [1]of people of all ages). No matter how bad anxiety is, it passes – that’s the key to toughing out your fears.

·      The 1st thing you have to do is to determine whether it’s worth it. (Not all fears are worth eliminating)

-     Worth confronting if : it prevents you from leading a full, active life and you’re making personal and professional sacrifices to avoid it. (Maladaptive fear)

-     Not worth: if your fear of public speaking leads you to rehearse and master your material (Adaptive fear).

·      If you can endure a feared sitch long enough to gain some confidence (giving a speech, performing before an audience), the self-assurance itself becomes convincing. W/that confidence, you choose the method of confronting your fears.

·      There’re different techniques to overcome our fears:

-     The flooding approach: quickest, most difficult method. You jump in, confront the discomfort w/out any excuses and w/out trying to build up to it. You say “this is what I want to achieve; it’s going to be hard, but it’s worth it, so I’ll go through it.” (e.g. If you’re afraid of boating, you go boating).

-     The gradual approach: going step by step.

-     The paradoxical intentions method: you make fun of your fear by challenging yourself to have exactly the reaction that you fear –but in a ridiculous way. Laught at yourself. It works because the minute you try to do sth voluntary, the involuntary reaction of anxiety disappears.”

·      It’s much easier to overcome a fear if you know its basis. It could have been born form a traumatic experience, or it could be a metaphor.

·      What you need is a “counterphobic” attitude – the desire to stand up, even if shaking and quaking, to what we fear.

·      Many uncomfortable feelings associated w/fear (muscle tension, heart attacks) are caused by adrenaline + other hormones released into the bloodstream. In true danger sitch these hormones and the rush of adrenaline fuel the ensuing (subsiguiente) fight or flight mechanism/response.

·      In anxiety attacks, you become body bound, though. Solutions:

-     Find and activity (sport, game, exercise) thatn helps to activate your muscles/confront your anxiety. Sb who consistently practise relaxation will be able to steady himself before a speech, for ex.

-     Try relaxation techniques: long, deep, slow breaths; conjuring up a relaxing scene (use all your senses); humor (paradoxical intentions method)

-     Have a friend “applaud” you when you accomplish each step or help you set a schedule and keep to it (don’t depend on the friends presence, though)

·      Remember that in the same way that unconfronted fears mushroom, success also multiplies (the “ripple effect”).

Fear of Public Speaking (glossophobia) / Performance Anxiety

·      Possible causes: shyness (social nervousness); memories of a single ackward performance; low self-esteem; some genetic component to social phobias; fear of failure.

·      Some fears are irrational. E.g. anyone w/an eye for perfection is going to interpret one mistake as total failure à Learn to talk back to irrational fears: substitute positive beliefs for negative ones.

·      Advantages: actors, musicians believe a certain amount of nervousness gets them up before a performance.

·      Disadvantages: Simple nervousness about a specific sitch could progress to general panic, then to partial or complete withdrawal from daily life.

·      Many doctors turn to drugs to help patients who find their nerves disabling (“the chill pill”). Not great cuz many anti-anxiety drugs are addictive

·      Recommendation: everyone should pick up a short mantra[2]. Sth like “I am peaceful” is enough. Pay attention to easy, even breathing. By practicing daily, you build up a reservoir of calm.

·      Do informal exercises 4/5 times a day: take it easy, lower your shoulders, relax your stance, slow your breathing. After practice, you can calm down almost immediately.

·      For those who can’t argue themselves out of the jitters:

-     try simple mind control when dark thoughts start to gallop round your mind.

-     Turn your attention to sth pleasurable.

-     Systematic desensitization: go step by step imagining the feared sitch. When you get scared, start again.

·      Remember that nervousness is not the real destroyer: leart to redirect it, to use it.

Ø How to beat podium jitters:

·      Prepare: a good outline, w/pause marked, reminders of supporting points (anecdotes, stories), visual aids BUT don’t be overprogrammed (don’t worry word by word, it becomes boring). Rehearse

·      Chek out the place of your speech ahead in time. Knowing the space, helps allay fears.

·      Psych yourself up: Use visualization (imagine yourself performing well).

·      Memorize your opening words: getting through the first few minutes relaxes you.

·      Take time to set up properly, let the audience see you and look at them.

·      Remember to breath throughout the speech.

·      Arrive early so as to talk to members of the audience and during the speech locate them.

·      Watch your gestures: holding a papers makes it obvious you’re trembling.

·      Learn to pause.

·      Never say :”I’m really nervous.”

Culture of Fear

·      Fear entrepreneurs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are moral crusaders who genuinely belive that society is threatened by evil forces. But many are the salespeople and hustlers of the market of fear. It’s important to distinguis the diff species of scaremonger.

Ø Religious moral entrepreneurs (favorite word: sin)

·      Convinced that human misfortune ultimately springs from the activities of Satan. Some, for example, argue that AIDS is God’s way of punishing immoral sexual behavior. One Christian columnist called hurricane Katrina “the fist of God”; a retribution for degenerate sinful behaviour.

·      They talk up the moral corruption of society; they embrace current anxieties about the future of our planet.

Ø Secular moral entrepreneurs (favorite phrase: this is only the tip of the iceberg)

·      Advocacy groups use surveys and research rather than the language of God, to claim that a particular problem is getting worse and that, unless Sth is Done, it will engulf the whole society.

·      Their crusade has no end: they would never say that a sitch has improved. They say it’s getting worse and worse to hold on the public imagination.

·      Permanently seek new opportunities to promote their cause, in a process described by sociologists as “domain expansion” (they expand a widely recognised problem to encompass new issues. Eg: if sb abuses animals, it’s likely they abuse humans.

·      They flag up the gravity of sitch by saying problems are hidden, concealed, unacknowledged.

·      They have a great effect on our fears and anxieties.

·      They capture the public’s imagination.

·      Their warnings are taken seriously cuz they’re underpinned by the authority of science. à Their support is continually sought by other scaremongers.

·      Claim to have insight that ordinary people don’t possess.

Ø Health Activists (A risk to your health)

·      Claim to be experts.

·      Raise concerns about physical and emotional wellbeing.

·      People’s lives are becoming more unhealthy, so be careful and vigilant! (the food, sex, relationships)

·      Being well is not natural; it’s sth people should work on with the help of experts and gurus (Well men’s clinich, for ex)

Ø Environmentalists (toxic)

·      Unless we alter our lifestyle, the planet will be destroyed (apocalyptic vision of the future, an apocalypse without redemption)

·      Intolerant to heresy: those who don’t agree with them are “climate change deniers, Greedy, irresponsible”

·      In their dictionary: extinction, pollution, ecological catastrophe, depletion.

Ø Relationship professionals (You have self-esteem issues)

·      Therapists, counsellors, life coaches continually warn us about the perils we face in our private lives (relationships w/family, neighbors, lovers)

·      Typical fears: rape, date rape, child abuse, elder abuse, bullying and stalking, emotional trauma caused by them.

·      They speak of “toxic relationships/families” and remind us not to trust ourselves/others close to us.

·      The idea is: relationships are far too dangerous for amateurs, they nee to be negotiated w/the help of professionals.

Ø Law-and-order moral entrepreneurs (There is an epidemic of crime)

·      Governments, officials, campaigning groups are at the forefront of this kind of scaremongering.

·      Crimes denounced: school violence, terrorism, illegal immigration, homophobia, hate crimes, cyber-crime, paedophilia, identity theft,.

Ø Fear-market entrepreneurs

·      The health and pharmaceutical industry has been well-served by these neverending panics. Food scares have influenced our eating habits.

·      Inventive when turning minor problems into threats for which they can privide a treatment/product (e.g. shyness is now social phobia)

·      Despite the diverse interests of the eight diff groups, their work tends to reinforce scaremongering as a whole, as they all contribute to the construction of a climate where promoting fear and anxiety comes to be seen as a legitimate pursuit.

·      All the groups are competing for the leading role in today’s dramatization of doom.

Ø Nothing ismore despicable than respect based on fear (Albert Camus)

Ø Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear (Cheri Huber)

Ø Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd (Bertrand Russell)

Ø Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. (Marie Curie)

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

TELEKINESIS: the ability to control the physical world, with the power of your brain. Some people can move objects like that.

ACUPUNCTURE: a method of stopping pain and curing diseases by putting needles into certain parts of the body.

FENG SHUI: a Chinese method of arranging things inside your home, in order to bring good luck, wealth, good health, and happiness.

HERBALISM: the prevention and treatment of ill health with the use of particular plants known for their medicinal properties.

HOMEOPATHY: disease is treated by giving very small amounts of a substance which, in larger amounts, would usually produce an illness.

QUIROPRAXY: the method of treating back, joint, and muscle pain by feeling and pressing the bones, especially those of the back and neck

Your Health in Your Own Hands

♣ Conventional medicine:

·      Not keeping up with people’s needs.

·      A quick examination by a doctor + a prescription (which will treat the specific symptom; there’s no time to look at the cause/other symptoms linked to it)

♣ Alternative medicine / alternative health:

·      Holistic approach (“holistic medicine”, “holistic therapies”)

·      Offer PREVENTIVE measures

·      We are the sum of our parts: our emotions, lifestyles and overall basic constitutions are what causes ill health (though, of course, a specific disease might cause it as well).

·      Recommendations: Alternative therapies should not replace modern medice but be complementary remedies for it. Contact a good therapy/organisation/association.

·      Common herbal remedies are now available in health shops.

·      The possibility of dangerous side-effects from modern synthesised drugs are leading scientists back to the plant/herb itself.

·      The concept of “chi”, the vital energy source, is essential to ~

·      Herbs are prescribed in the form of: infusions, ointments, creams, and compresses.

·      They help adress any imbalances withing the body and stimulate the immune system.

·      Successful in treating allergies, arthritis, asthma, kidney and liver complaints, rheumatism, sunburn.

Ø Ayurveda

·      Traditional form of medicine and philosophy from India.

·      Manipulation of vital energy points (“marma”) to help balance three “bioforces” – wind (vata), fire (pitta), and kapha (mucus).

·      It’s a comprehensive treatise for better health in which yga, meditation, diet, massage, aromatherapy, acupressure and music therapy can al be combines to provide a balanced, optimum healthcare plan.

Ø Flotation therapy

·      A form of hydrotherapy.

·      Used as a relaxation technique and by hospitals for physiotherapy.

·      Floating in a tank of heavily salted water to allow the body’s muscles to completely relax.

·      Aided by soothing music and darkness.

Ø Aromatherapy

·      Applying, through massage, essential oils of aromatic flowers, herbs, plants, trees, or spices.

·      Uses: for treating stress and related illnesses (insomnia, headaches, fatigue, depression), respiratory problems, hormonal problems, addictions, infections.

Ø Reflexology (aka Reflex Zone Therapy)

·      Massaging and stimulating points on the hands and feet which correspond to various systems and organs in the body.

·      Based on the belief that the chi flows through channels in the body.

·      No known side effects; successful in dealing w/pregnancy problems.

Ø Iridology

·      More than a therapy, it’s a tool for diagnosis and prevention.

·      Consists in studying the iris (hence the name, dahhhh) of the eye, which is said to reflect the body and its organs and glands.

·      Weaknesses are diagnosed by noting color changes, unsual markings or dark spots, and charting the findings on an eye map which is then analysed.

·      Useful for diagnosing: illnesses affecting the organs (liver, heart, kidney conditions), anaemia, circulatory and digestive problems, arthritis, stress.

DREAMS

·      The mind and the body collude to help us.

In the field of sleep and dreams, these are promising times. But there’s been no year more momentous that 1953. Until then, scientists had been able to record activity in sleep.

What they discovered was a sleep state in which the brain is, in many ways, every bit as active as when it’s awake; a state in which the heart beats faster, breathing quickens, blood pressure and blood flow to the brain (and sexual organs) rise, while the eyes move rapidly beneath their lids. (This paradoxical state is called Rapid Eye Movement).

Everybody dreams and most people talk about theirs now and again. As children we learn to distinguish these delusions from reality, sth to be forgotten quickly and completely, if they were remembered in the first place.

We flee from danger, triumph and flop in our areas of endeavor and enjoy passionate encounters with people we yearn for or hardly know. We do these things convinced the events are real.

The discovery of REM sleep was supposed to be an opening through which science could throw light on dreaming. And it was. But it has also been an obstacle to progress. Many scientists became convinced that REM sleep and dreaming are more or less the same thing. REM became known as “dreaming sleep”.

Dream researchers rely on what it is called the “faulty methodology” of waking subjects and asking them what was going on in their heads immediately before they were woken. But because certain parts of the brain are switched off during sleep, it shouldn’t be assumed that subjects’ answers will be accurate.

REM follows four stages of sleep in which brain activity becomes progressively more subdued. In REM, which occurs 4 or 5 times a night and lasts about 30 minutes at a time, our muscles become paralyzed. Those areas that are active include the brain stem, the limbic system and parts of the forebrain involved in processing sensory information.

A profile that fits neatly with the subjective experience of dreaming: vivid images, strong emotion and snippets of memory, but a shortage of coherence.

Two Harvard neurophysiologists argued that dreams are nonsense created when the forebrain makes the best of a bad job in producing even partially coherent dream imagery from the relatively noisy signals sent up to it from the brain stem at the onset of REM.

Hordes of critics protested that many dreams are so story-like, sequential and dramatic that the thinking brain must surely have played a substantial role in the production. And there’s the matter of lucid dreaming, in which people become aware in the course of a dream that they are, in fact, dreaming, and are able to control the course of events.

The lucid dreamer can apparently apply certain techniques to prolong the dream and take it in delightful directions.

Solms realized that dreaming occurred outside periods of REM, that it was also common at sleep onset and shortly before waking in the morning. Then, people with damage to a part of the brain shouldn’t be having dreams. Solms, however, had patients with lesions in precisely that region, and while they weren’t having REM, they were nonetheless reporting dreams.

Solms is leading two studies. One involves using functional magnetic resonance imaging to try to disentangle the REM brain from the dreaming brain. He wants to obtain images of the dreaming/non-dreaming brain at sleep onset, and note the differences between the two. His other study involves comparing the sleeping activity of subjects who dream with that of subjects who can’t because of brain lesions.

The biological function of dreaming is to stimulate threatening events so to prepare the dreamer for recognizing and avoiding danger. Revonsuo estimates that young adults have 300 threat-stimulation dreams a year. In the dreams of both men and women, male strangers and wild animals are most often the enemy, and the dreamer’s typical responses are running and hiding, often in a state of terror.

Solms believes there’s value in interpreting dreams. They provide a privileged, unfiltered access to what’s on a person’s mind.

People should understand that dreams aren’t constructed with the goal of delivering a message; they don’t have an inherent meaning.

Exercise on page 49

·      Dreams are visual hallucinations: they appear to us as a kind of derangement of the senses and they follow their own rules of logic.

·      For Freud the generating force of a dream was a powerful uncouncious wish.

·      Analysts believe that the surface details of a dream, along with the patient’s associations to them, provide the information they need to make a useful interpretation.

What is a dream? How is the word “dream” defined? (Page 72): It has four interrelated meanings.

1)            a piece of thinking that occurs when there’s a certain amount of brain activation, external stimuli are blocked, the self system (the “I/me”) is shut off. à We dream when we’re asleep / in very relaxed waking states.

2)            Sth we experience cuz the thought process is very real and makes use of our senses (esp seeing and hearing)

3)            The memory of the dreaming experience.

4)            The “report” we give to others about that experience.

♪ The little dramas our minds make up when the

“self” system is not keeping us alert to the world around us. ♪

Exercise on page 74: we should not see dreams as an escape from reality, but as an extension of it. In dreams, we usually continue to occupy ourselves with whatever pleasure or problems we have had during the day, while we were awake. So, rather than freeing us from everyday life, dreams lead us back to it.

Quotes

·      If you want your dreams to come true, don’t oversleep (Yiddish Proverb)

·      Dreams are secret messages to ourselves (Claudia Schander nos la dio)

STRESS

Who Says Stress Is Bad For You?

·      Stress cripples your neurons à Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease will have an easy time destroying what’s left.

·      You can die from stress-related ailments such as heart disease.

·      We all experience stress in different ways. The genes may play a part.

-                               The X and Y chromosomes play a role in how people respond to stress: Women turn to their social networks, which prompts the release of oxytocin, which mutes the stress systems.

-                               Maternal stress (when baby in womb) harms later child developtment: women under moderate stress have toddlers who are developmentally advanced. So this stress may be essential to child development.

Ø But stress can be good for you

·      Some stress is healthy and necessary to keep us alert and occupied.

·      Most people do their best under mild to moderate stress.

·      The stress response: The body’s hormonal reaction to danger, uncertainty or change – evolved to help us survive, and if we learn how to keep it from overrunning our lives, it still can (help us survive).