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Sonstige

One of those days in life

981 / ~2 sternsternstern_0.2stern_0.3stern_0.3 Wilhelm S. . 2012
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Sonstige
Englisch

University of Mostar

2012, no proffesor, it is just a story

Wilhelm S. ©
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One of those days in life

A girl sits at high stool table. Gets plugs from her ears, sighs, and opens a bag. She takes out very old on verge of falling apart notebook and a pencil. It is a black pencil with “I had it!” label on it. Waiter comes, she smiles, politely orders vanilla flavored coffee and opens notebook.

She starts to write. Nothing special, nothing like award winning Nobel Prize for literature, but she pores her soul into those lines. Writing calms her. After of couple minutes she pulls her head up and looks for him. She already knows that he is there, at the bar, putting drinks in order, preparing cocktail mixtures, cleaning… it´s that annoying six sense of hers that allows her to feel the energy of room.

Pulling her head up is just a mechanical gesture so she can catch his look and come to him.


She takes a deep breath, climbs of the chair and slowly starts walking towards. Her tummy starts to tremble and she can feel goose-bumps crawling on her skin. Outwardly she appears completely calm. Inwardly it is a chaos of emotions. Freaking tornado. She takes another breath and smiles. She leans across the bar.

Hi.”

Hi”, he replays.

I am not sure how to react here.”, she starts talking, “but I would very much like if you can explain to me why did you treat me like a doormat I mean, if you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore, you could have simply text me: “Listen, we had fun, it was nice, it was relaxing, but I can´t do it anymore.

It is starting to get complicated.” And I would say:”Oke, no problem, see you when I get a desire for cocktails.” That would be that. Polite. Civilized. Respectful. But instead you decide to do the silent treatment. I thought you were better than that. I thought more of you.

But I guess I was wrong.”

He starts to say something, but she cuts him off.


Don’t, even try to explain. There isn’t any logical explanation for not calling or texting a simple sms. One day has 24h, every hour has 60 minutes and it only takes 3 minutes to make a conversation. That means that one day has 1440 minutes and it is impossible not to find 3 minutes to talk to someone.

And we both know that when you want to do something there isn’t a force above or below that can stop you. So the ugly truth is you simply didn’t care enough about me. I am fine with that, but you could have been respectful. I am a human being, highly emotional and sensitive and this silence of yours hurt.

So, how about you give me my stuff back? Chess, books, they were gifts to me and I would appreciate if you can return them.”


She keeps her voice leveled the whole time, never raising a tone, looking him straight into eyes and repeating herself to breathe. Because if she stops to breathe she will lean over and slap him so hard that he will see stars all the way to Uranus.


Self-centered, arrogant, lying prick that made her spend a week trying to balance out her inner peace.

Look at him. He is confused, not sure how to react, not sure what to do or say. Like a deer in front of traffic lights. This thought keeps smile on her face.


You can leave them here, at the bar, tomorrow night, and I will pick them up early in the morning. Well, that is all that I wanted to say. Have a nice life.”, she smiles warmly, turns around and returns to her table.



Here is what she wrote:

A year ago I read a book called: “He really doesn’t care!” I had a very stressful relationship where my ex kept driving me crazy with his cold-hot actions. My sister borrowed a book from library whose title caught my eye. It was a real life turner. No so much the philosophical and psychological stuff, but real life relationship examples.

For instance, guy met a girl in a bar. They talked, flirted and had a good time. At the end of the evening he asked her phone number. And she said: “You know, if I give you my phone number, I will stare at the phone for the next 7 days expecting your call.

Maybe you will call; maybe you won’t, but anticipation will occupy my mind and mess with my emotions and I don’t want that. So here is the deal. I will give you my last name, and if you can find where I live or what my phone number is than I will know you care enough to go on a date with me.”

So, if a person can make that much effort for somebody he just spent 4 hours, than a guy that I dated for a month can do the same and is expected to do more.

We girls often sell our self short, by making excuses about actions of our boyfriends. Our defense mechanism automatically kicks in; trying to protect us from emotional stress and pain, but it is not doing us a favor in long turn run. It is crippling us, numbing our senses and adding to stress. It is wrong!

Second story that pops in my mind right now is a Zen story.

A new student approached the Zen master and asked how he should prepare himself for his training. "Think of me a bell," the master explained. "Give me a soft tap, and you will get a tiny ping. Strike hard, and you'll receive a loud, resounding peal."


Don’t be a doormat! You are an empress!


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