Essay:
Amy Chua - Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior
When
it comes to parenting, Chinese mothers most of the time come under
criticism for, how they push their children to reach maximum
performances in every imaginable matter. But is the way, how Chinese
mothers do their parenting really the best method you can think of?
And furthermore, is their parenting style successful and acceptable
according to the welfare of the child and the child’s preparation
for the future?
Amy
Chua is a cocksure representative of the assumption that Chinese
mothers do the best parenting to achieve sustained success in their
children’s life. In her non-fictional article “Why Chinese
Mothers Are Superior”, which is an excerpt of her memoir “Battle
Hymn of the Tiger Mother” and published in the Wall Street Journal
on 8th
January 2011, she describes, why Chinese mothers seem to be better in
upbringing their children and why it is so important for Chinese
parents that their child always gets the best grades and is ambitious
and disciplined.
Amy
Chua is a professor of law at Yale Law School and a very successful
woman, who has achieved a lot of things, ordinary people won’t
reach in their life. She has written a couple of books, is one of the
100’s most influential people according to the Time magazine and
she received the Yale Law School’s “Best Teaching” award.
Because of the fact that she is a teacher, her children are
constantly under a lot of pressure and they have to deal with the
strength of purpose and the ambition of a “Chinese mother”. Amy
Chua uses the term “Chinese mother” summing up all Asian mothers,
just as using the term “Western mothers”.
Because a Chinese
mother is very disciplined and success-oriented, Amy Chua’s
children are not allowed to do several things, like watching TV or
attending a sleepover to prevent that the children get distracted by
insignificant activities and won’t focus on the rules they have to
follow (ll.112-115).
There are a lot of differences between
Chinese mothers and Western parents, because what is strict for the
Western mother isn’t strict enough for the Chinese mother.
Relying
on several studies, Amy Chua says that Westerners think the
“stressing academic success is not good” for their children and
that the “parents need to foster the idea that learning is fun”,
as against the Chinese think that the “academic achievement
reflects successful parenting” and because of that, Chinese mothers
are drilling their children to top performances (l.121) and high
grades and spend a lot more time studying with them, than Western
mothers do - so based on these studies, you clearly can see the
intense contrasts between those cultural circumstances.
Amy Chua
says that “nothing is fun until you’re good at it” and to get
good at something you have to work for it and practice a lot
regardless of the opinion of the child. Western parents give up when
it gets tough, where Chinese parents work onwards. If you don’t
give up, you get a circle where the child at first practices then
gets praise because of their great performance and so it’s fun to
practice, like in the story where Lulu achieved to play a certain
song on the piano (ll.161-162).
An important aspect of the
Chinese parenting is also the exposure with psychological tricks, for
example when Amy’s father called her “garbage” in their native
language. She felt ashamed, but knew how highly he thought of her, so
that it didn’t damage her self-esteem (ll.57-59). Amy Chua once did
this to one of her children, where she called it “garbage” in
English at a dinner party. Maybe the fault was, that she said it in
English instead of in the native language that it didn’t work that
well, because all the guests were frightened.
It is a fact that
Chinese mothers can be rougher to their children than Western
mothers, because their children are not strong enough and they have
low self-esteem due to the fact that they are too pampered
(ll.67-69).
There are three main differences between Chinese and
Western parenting:
First, the Western parents are anxious about
their child’s self-esteem; they are worried about how their
children feel when they fail and especially about their psyches, that
is why Western parents are always careful with criticizing their
children. However, Chinese parents assume strength from their
children and Amy Chua often emphasized that Chinese parents really
believe in their children; that they can take the shaming and improve
from it.
Second, the Chinese believe that the children owe them
everything, because they have done everything for them, so the
children have to make them proud.
Opposed to that, Westerners
think that they have the responsibility for their children and their
kids don’t choose their parents.
Third, Chinese mothers only
want the best for their children, so they don’t look out for their
children’s preferences. Western mothers let their children give up,
but that may be a misunderstanding, because all parents want the best
for their children but in their own way.
Western parents “respect
their child’s individuality” and let them “pursue their true
passions “and make own decisions, whereas Chinese parents want to
“prepare their child for the future” and want them to know “what
they’re capable of” and want to give them working skills and most
of all confidence.
Amy
Chua uses many stylistic devices in her article, like for example
anaphora in lines four and five “wonder”, which catches the
attention of the reader, in lines 38, 93, 96, 99, 112, 142, 172 and
178 “believe”, which shows, how much the Chinese parents believe
in their children and that they really can reach something. That is a
very important part in Chinese parenting. In line 49, there is also
an anaphora, which says “practice” three times, because that is
what Chinese mothers do with their children: practice.
Accumulations
are utilized very often in Amy Chua’s article. She tells about
“math wizzes and music prodigies” (l.5), “Korean, Indian,
Jamaican, Irish and Ghanaian parents” (ll.22-23), “praise,
admiration and satisfaction” (ll.51-52), “tutoring, training,
interrogating and spying” (ll.102-103) and of being “lazy,
cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic” (ll.136-137), just to
mention some of them. She uses accumulations to point out the meaning
of the listed words and catch the reader’s attention in mentioning
associated terms. Because of the same reasons, she uses alliterations
like “stereotypically successful” (l.4), “academic activities”
(l. 42) and “inadequate or insecure” (l.82). It is also
mentioned, that there are “three big differences”, which she is
listing subsequently (First, Second, Third). She is also repeating
herself, when she says that “Western parents are extremely anxious
about their children’s self-esteem” in lines 72-73 and that
“Western parents worry a lot about their children’s self-esteem”
in lines 166-167, which shows that this is a very important fact she
wants to point out and gets fastened. With the use of hyperboles, Amy
Chua shows an exaggeration of a situation and following actions like
when she mentions a “screaming, hair-tearing explosion” (l.90),
when the child gets a B, the “dozens, maybe hundreds” (ll.90-100)
of practice tests, which follow.
The argumentation of Amy Chua’s
article is well-structured, because her arguments are comprehensible
and convincing due to the fact that she uses lots of examples and
studies to prove her assumptions and she can rely on her own
experiences.
The language used in the article is very mixed. It
consists of many technical terms and exalted terminology, but on the
other hand there are many dialogues, which represent colloquial
language and are easy to understand. In line 66, we have the
interjection “Hey fatty - lose some weight!” which is very gross
and abusive.
In
adopting Amy Chua’s values and methods of upbringing, there can be
advantages and disadvantages for the child. Practically all methods,
except calling children bad names, are helpful for the child’s
future. But in accordance with Zawn Villines’ article “Kids’
Mental Health Impacted by Strict “Tiger Mom” Parenting”,
published on 27th
September 2014 on the flip side of these methods
are leached out children, depression, problem behaviour, lower
self-esteem and the difficulty to reach school’s demands. The worst
for Chinese children are psychological tricks and insufficient love
from their parents, so that the children’s health is endangered.
Parenting should be a mixture between warmth and control, because
under these conditions, children feel most comfortable.
In
conclusion, Chinese mothers really are superior when it comes to the
education part. Parenting doesn’t only consist of educating your
child, you also have to give them love and show responsibility in
accordance to your child’s health. It shows that a mixture between
Chinese and Western parenting would be perfect for the children for
their welfare and future life.
Source: